4 Tips to Get Over Disappointment Fast
Written by Imo David
"Don't allow today's setbacks overshadow your hopes for tomorrow." ~Unknown
Disappointment is one of life's most unpleasant emotions for me. It's complicated, with a subset of other emotions such as anger, hurt, sadness, and probably many others that are too subtle to identify.
Those feelings are sometimes easier to deal with on their own, but disappointment can leave me stranded.
I'm not sure whether I should be angry or just wish that I could hurry up and get over it. Even if you're trying to forget about it, disappointment can linger in the back of your mind and poke at the front, giving you a dreary outlook on life.
Here are four steps I have identified in my own approach for moving forward from disappointment:
1. Let it all hang out.
One of the most difficult things to do in a world where everything is immediate—we are all under external pressure, and time is a valuable resource—is to simply let yourself to feel.
Even during the most painful moments, such as grief, we only give ourselves 1 to 2 weeks off or work, and then we hope to return to normalcy.
Humans are not particularly skilled at letting emotions to be fully experienced without attempting to hurry up the process. We only have this skill in its purest form when we are small infants who have not yet been told or taught what is socially acceptable.
Children will tantrum, cry, scream, or giggle until their energy runs out and they are truly ready to go on.
I'm not advocating that we isolate ourselves for weeks at a time when we're dissatisfied, but we should be cognizant of any sense of obligation to "simply get over it."
Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling without trying to rush the process. Whatever you are feeling is acceptable. Spend some time simply sitting with your emotion and experiencing it without trying to correct or modify it.
One of the most beautiful aspects of life is the genuine experience of emotions, no matter how painful they may be. Don't avoid these opportunities. Be present in their presence.
2. Gain some distance.
The great part about letting it all out is that you gave yourself that time. "I care about you," you've told yourself. I don't want to push or coax you; I just want you to experience what you need to feel."
You've treated yourself like a friend, giving yourself the space you needed to process your disappointment.
After that, it will be much easy to gain some perspective. After you've given yourself permission to feel, you'll be able to give the circumstance or individuals involved more breathing room.
Perhaps the individual who has disappointed you is unaware that they have done something to irritate you. Perhaps they're stressed out and don't have the emotional bandwidth to think about it because they don't give themselves the time to feel their emotions.
Allowing yourself to be who you are prepares you to let others to do the same.
Having a larger perspective on a problem than your own is usually beneficial. The key point here is that you must mean it. Rushing to get perspective before allowing yourself to be with how you feel will be fake and temporary.
3. Understand your own heart.
Disappointment may cut to the core of who you are. If you don't know what your basic values are, you may lack a framework to help you cope with bad feelings.
One of my main principles, for example, is open-heartedness. I want to retain an open heart and be willing to share love and kindness with people, regardless of how they behave.
I'd like to attempt to always choose to act with love and kindness toward others rather than negativity.
When someone disappoints me and I want to close and withdraw, I remember this essential principle, pause, and make a decision.
I aspire to be a warm-hearted person. These bad emotions are just that: emotions, and they will pass. Do I choose to remain open-hearted, or do I go with my simpler tendency and close off?
More often than not, I choose to act in accordance with my values above the situation's instinctive response. It does not happen every time, but it does happen the majority of the time.
Knowing your own heart and ideals provides you the power to choose. You have the option of being driven by what occurs to you or living in accordance with your ideals.
The latter has assisted me in dealing with setbacks and unfavorable events in a healthy manner. The challenge of disappointment allows me to practice living more in line with my principles and keeps me from being consumed by it.
4. Experiment with acceptance.
Even if we know that some things are unavoidable, we are not always willing to accept them.
My emotions overtake me every time I am disappointed. I want to withdraw and blame others, to wallow in my despair. Every time, I have to accept that I will experience these feelings again.
I must accept that I will continue to be disappointed—that it is a natural part of life and of being human. I also have to understand that I will most likely struggle to accept this fact at various moments throughout my life!
This is a lifetime challenge that is essential for dealing with disappointment. I will be disappointed, you will be disappointed, and you will be disappointed. Life will be disappointing at times, but it will pass.
If we practice acceptance, we will suffer less and recognize more of the pleasant things in life.
Disappointment is a natural part of life, yet it may also help us grow. We may be present and aware even while we are experiencing negative emotions, allowing us to live more completely.
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